1 00:00:02,671 --> 00:00:05,543 [rock music] 2 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:09,155 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,114 Today we're talking about fossils. 4 00:00:11,201 --> 00:00:12,637 Okay? 5 00:00:12,724 --> 00:00:15,335 And a fossil, class, is really just another name 6 00:00:15,422 --> 00:00:17,468 for an ancient bone. 7 00:00:17,555 --> 00:00:21,907 [Beavis and Butt-Head snickering] 8 00:00:21,994 --> 00:00:23,735 But what you may not know 9 00:00:23,822 --> 00:00:26,520 is that these bony messengers from the past 10 00:00:26,608 --> 00:00:29,654 can be found in our own backyard. 11 00:00:29,741 --> 00:00:33,832 Recently, not far from here, a Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton 12 00:00:33,919 --> 00:00:36,922 was found by amateur bone hunters. 13 00:00:37,009 --> 00:00:39,403 Beavis' mom is an amateur bone hunter. 14 00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:42,014 Shut up, Butt-Head. That's not funny. 15 00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:43,712 And while they may not have the glitz 16 00:00:43,799 --> 00:00:45,801 of popular youth culture, 17 00:00:45,888 --> 00:00:48,499 dinosaur exhibits bring in millions of dollars 18 00:00:48,586 --> 00:00:49,674 for the American Paleontological Foundation-- 19 00:00:49,761 --> 00:00:53,025 Uh, sir? Sir! Hey! 20 00:00:53,112 --> 00:00:55,941 What was the part about a million dollars? 21 00:00:56,028 --> 00:00:58,291 More like millions, Butt-Head. 22 00:00:58,378 --> 00:01:00,424 You know, a good research project would be to find-- 23 00:01:00,511 --> 00:01:03,862 Beavis, our hard work in school is about to pay off. 24 00:01:03,949 --> 00:01:05,864 [chuckles] 25 00:01:05,951 --> 00:01:07,649 Yeah, finally. 26 00:01:07,736 --> 00:01:09,825 Jesus. [chuckles] 27 00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:13,742 Eh, sorry, Butt-Head. 28 00:01:13,829 --> 00:01:15,569 Anderson only had one shovel. 29 00:01:15,657 --> 00:01:17,049 One is all we need, Beavis. 30 00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:18,921 Now start digging. 31 00:01:19,008 --> 00:01:21,663 Van Driessen said we'd find them in our own backyard. 32 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,490 [chuckles] 33 00:01:23,577 --> 00:01:26,189 [shovel clanking] 34 00:01:26,276 --> 00:01:29,192 [grunting] 35 00:01:36,155 --> 00:01:39,506 Um, I don't see any bones, Butt-Head. 36 00:01:39,593 --> 00:01:41,030 Beavis, you wuss. 37 00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:43,206 You're not digging good. 38 00:01:43,293 --> 00:01:45,164 Step aside. 39 00:01:45,251 --> 00:01:48,428 You got to put your back into it, dumbass, like this. 40 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,306 Beavis, we'll find no dinosaurs here. 41 00:01:56,393 --> 00:01:58,003 If it's this hard for us to dig, 42 00:01:58,090 --> 00:02:00,658 there's no way the dinosaurs could have dug their houses 43 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:03,139 with those wimpy little kangaroo arms. 44 00:02:03,226 --> 00:02:07,491 Oh, yeah. [both chuckling] 45 00:02:07,578 --> 00:02:10,494 [shovel scraping] 46 00:02:10,581 --> 00:02:14,541 Uh, those dumbass bones got to be in somebody's backyard. 47 00:02:14,628 --> 00:02:16,021 Yeah, yeah. 48 00:02:16,108 --> 00:02:17,980 Whoa, a bone! 49 00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,372 It's just like that dinosaur bone we saw in class 50 00:02:19,459 --> 00:02:21,200 but newer. 51 00:02:21,287 --> 00:02:23,289 That butt-munch dog stole our idea. 52 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,335 Damn it. 53 00:02:25,422 --> 00:02:26,815 Come on, give it. [dog growling] 54 00:02:26,902 --> 00:02:28,512 It's mine. 55 00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:29,948 What are you going to do 56 00:02:30,035 --> 00:02:30,514 with a million dollars, butthole? 57 00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:33,822 [dog growling] 58 00:02:35,606 --> 00:02:37,956 Whoa, bones. 59 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:39,784 Yeah, we don't even have to dig. 60 00:02:39,871 --> 00:02:42,569 That stupid dog did all our work for us. 61 00:02:42,656 --> 00:02:45,616 He even put them in bags. 62 00:02:45,703 --> 00:02:49,576 Yeah, there's still some dinosaur on this one. 63 00:02:49,663 --> 00:02:51,317 Not bad really. 64 00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:57,410 Wait, what's this show called? 65 00:02:57,497 --> 00:03:01,197 Uh, this is "Ghosted." [chuckles] 66 00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:03,068 So is there a ghost on that chair? 67 00:03:03,155 --> 00:03:06,593 [chuckles] - No. 68 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,509 That dude there, he like, ghosted her. 69 00:03:09,596 --> 00:03:12,121 And so now they're going to like, find out why 70 00:03:12,208 --> 00:03:14,384 and then work it out or something, 71 00:03:14,471 --> 00:03:16,168 or settle it in the cage or something. 72 00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:18,040 Why didn't you tell me? 73 00:03:18,127 --> 00:03:19,650 Why didn't you like, spend the holidays with me? 74 00:03:19,737 --> 00:03:21,391 I was your girlfriend. 75 00:03:21,478 --> 00:03:22,435 Boy, she must have done something 76 00:03:22,522 --> 00:03:25,003 really bad for him to ghost her. 77 00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:26,831 Yeah, she probably like, killed his dog 78 00:03:26,918 --> 00:03:29,312 and slapped his mom and stuff, you know? 79 00:03:29,399 --> 00:03:31,314 And even then though, 80 00:03:31,401 --> 00:03:34,056 I still don't think I'd ghost her, Butt-Head. 81 00:03:34,143 --> 00:03:35,797 - [sighs] - Yeah, this better be good. 82 00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:37,711 This is really embarrassing. 83 00:03:37,799 --> 00:03:39,583 We got to pay attention. 84 00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:43,935 The real reason I ghosted you, Giovanna, 85 00:03:44,022 --> 00:03:47,460 is because you're a sex addict. 86 00:03:47,547 --> 00:03:49,462 What? 87 00:03:49,549 --> 00:03:52,465 Uh, what? [chuckles] 88 00:03:52,552 --> 00:03:55,686 Wait, wait, wait a second. Whoa, whoa. [chuckles] 89 00:03:55,773 --> 00:03:59,037 You know, it almost sounded like he said 90 00:03:59,124 --> 00:04:00,734 she wants to have sex too much, 91 00:04:00,822 --> 00:04:02,519 and that's why he broke up with her. 92 00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:05,130 Uh, that can't be right. 93 00:04:05,217 --> 00:04:06,392 Girl, you're like a [bleep] rabbit. 94 00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,090 Like, you just [bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep], 95 00:04:08,177 --> 00:04:09,308 [bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep]. 96 00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:10,440 Wait, he is! He is complaining! 97 00:04:10,527 --> 00:04:12,268 - You're pathetic. - What? 98 00:04:12,355 --> 00:04:13,573 - You're for real pathetic. - He's complaining about that? 99 00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:16,838 This is the dumbest dude I've ever seen in my life. 100 00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,535 Oh, he's not just dumb, Butt-Head. 101 00:04:18,622 --> 00:04:20,189 [chuckles] 102 00:04:20,276 --> 00:04:23,670 He's a lousy son of a bitch! Yeah. 103 00:04:23,757 --> 00:04:26,108 - He sure is. - How dare he! 104 00:04:26,195 --> 00:04:28,980 I mean, some of us, you know, like me, 105 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,287 don't have any sex, ever. 106 00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:34,899 And he's sitting there with his man bun 107 00:04:34,986 --> 00:04:36,901 and complaining about having too much sex? 108 00:04:36,988 --> 00:04:38,947 Jesus Christ. 109 00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:40,905 Multiple times a day, every day. 110 00:04:40,992 --> 00:04:43,212 I don't know what number multiple is, 111 00:04:43,299 --> 00:04:45,040 but it's better than zero. 112 00:04:45,127 --> 00:04:47,346 Exactly. 113 00:04:47,433 --> 00:04:50,306 There's starving kids in poor countries, 114 00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:52,786 and they probably get to score, but I don't. 115 00:04:52,874 --> 00:04:55,746 And look at this guy. Who does he think he is? 116 00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:57,879 For once, I'm not going to say settle down, Beavis. 117 00:04:57,966 --> 00:05:00,185 You're absolutely right. 118 00:05:00,272 --> 00:05:02,100 I hate him! I hate him, Butt-Head! 119 00:05:02,187 --> 00:05:03,754 [screaming] 120 00:05:03,841 --> 00:05:05,669 [glass shatters] 121 00:05:05,756 --> 00:05:06,800 Shut up! - That's right, Beavis. 122 00:05:06,888 --> 00:05:09,281 Shut up! [screams] 123 00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:10,717 Shut up, you butt monkey! - Kick his ass. 124 00:05:10,804 --> 00:05:12,545 [screams] 125 00:05:12,632 --> 00:05:15,113 Lousy son of a bitch. Teach him a lesson. 126 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,985 - [grunting] - There you go. 127 00:05:17,072 --> 00:05:18,464 You don't want to score? 128 00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:20,075 Well, how about not scoring with some of this? 129 00:05:20,162 --> 00:05:21,990 - Yes. - [grunts] 130 00:05:28,822 --> 00:05:30,650 [sighs] 131 00:05:30,737 --> 00:05:32,957 That's how you take care of that. 132 00:05:33,044 --> 00:05:35,177 That'll teach him a lesson. 133 00:05:37,266 --> 00:05:39,529 [chuckles] That was cool. 134 00:05:39,616 --> 00:05:41,444 Sorry, sorry. 135 00:05:41,531 --> 00:05:43,141 Yeah, I just really hated him, Butt-Head, you know? 136 00:05:43,228 --> 00:05:45,448 [both chuckle] 137 00:05:45,535 --> 00:05:50,627 We don't have a TV anymore. [chuckles] 138 00:05:50,714 --> 00:05:52,759 Why not? 139 00:05:52,846 --> 00:05:55,675 Oh, yeah, yeah. 140 00:05:56,328 --> 00:05:59,070 [metallic scraping] [both grunting] 141 00:06:04,902 --> 00:06:07,687 So let's, like, assemble the bones. 142 00:06:07,774 --> 00:06:09,428 [chuckles] 143 00:06:09,515 --> 00:06:13,258 Um, are there instructions or something? 144 00:06:13,345 --> 00:06:15,478 I don't see any. 145 00:06:15,565 --> 00:06:17,306 They must have fell out of the bag or something. 146 00:06:17,393 --> 00:06:19,395 We don't need instructions, asswipe. 147 00:06:19,482 --> 00:06:22,615 I know plenty about dinosaurs. 148 00:06:22,702 --> 00:06:25,662 Now, this is an ass bone. [chuckles] 149 00:06:25,749 --> 00:06:27,055 [both chuckle] 150 00:06:32,712 --> 00:06:34,105 How's it look? [chuckles] 151 00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:37,108 Uh... 152 00:06:37,195 --> 00:06:39,241 pretty realistic. 153 00:06:39,328 --> 00:06:43,593 Hmm, it feels like it's missing something though. 154 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,464 Like what? 155 00:06:45,551 --> 00:06:47,162 Uh... 156 00:06:47,249 --> 00:06:49,729 oh, yeah. 157 00:06:49,816 --> 00:06:52,167 [both chuckling] 158 00:06:56,084 --> 00:06:58,912 I shall call you Bonersaurus. 159 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,697 The mighty Bonersaurus. 160 00:07:00,784 --> 00:07:02,525 [both chuckling] 161 00:07:02,612 --> 00:07:04,831 Beavis, it's going to be hard for us 162 00:07:04,918 --> 00:07:06,659 not to make a million dollars. 163 00:07:06,746 --> 00:07:07,660 [chuckles] 164 00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:15,364 Come see the dinosaur. 165 00:07:15,451 --> 00:07:18,410 It's a real skeleton of a dinosaur monster. 166 00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:20,195 Yes, sir. [chuckles] 167 00:07:20,282 --> 00:07:22,197 And then, like, visit the gift shop. 168 00:07:22,284 --> 00:07:23,633 Yeah, yeah, yeah, 169 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,939 We've got a t-shirt that says "Bonersaurus" 170 00:07:26,027 --> 00:07:27,854 and then like, Butt-Head's retainer, 171 00:07:27,941 --> 00:07:30,248 and that's, like, a bra I found in a parking lot once. 172 00:07:30,335 --> 00:07:32,120 Come see the ancient Bonersaurus. 173 00:07:32,207 --> 00:07:33,730 Oh, my God. Pull over, pull over. 174 00:07:33,817 --> 00:07:35,123 Look at this. 175 00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:35,775 - Step right up. - Hey, you. 176 00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:37,386 That is too perfect. 177 00:07:37,473 --> 00:07:38,648 Let's get a picture, 178 00:07:38,735 --> 00:07:39,779 and then we'll get the hell out of here. 179 00:07:39,866 --> 00:07:41,520 Come see the Bonersaurus. 180 00:07:41,607 --> 00:07:43,740 Come check out our museum that's going to make us rich. 181 00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:45,437 Did you make this? 182 00:07:45,524 --> 00:07:48,919 Uh, yeah, this is Bonersaurus. 183 00:07:49,006 --> 00:07:50,442 Would you like to see it for $2? 184 00:07:50,529 --> 00:07:54,446 Yes, we'd love to see it. Here you go. 185 00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,969 Welcome to our museum. 186 00:07:56,057 --> 00:07:57,667 Hundreds of years ago, 187 00:07:57,754 --> 00:08:00,322 Bonersaurus walked the land, killing everything in sight, 188 00:08:00,409 --> 00:08:02,976 and scoring with chick dinosaurs. 189 00:08:03,064 --> 00:08:05,892 Yeah, its name was Bonersaurus, 190 00:08:05,979 --> 00:08:08,199 which means saurus that has a boner. 191 00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:10,723 [chuckles] - And this ends our tour. 192 00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,551 Please exit through the gift shop. 193 00:08:12,638 --> 00:08:13,900 And buy some stuff. 194 00:08:13,987 --> 00:08:15,076 [camera shutter clicks] 195 00:08:15,163 --> 00:08:16,207 I have to post this right now. 196 00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:17,730 [both chuckling] 197 00:08:19,558 --> 00:08:22,735 Um, how much money have we made so far, Butt-Head? 198 00:08:22,822 --> 00:08:25,608 Uh, let's see here. 199 00:08:25,695 --> 00:08:29,960 One, two--uh... 200 00:08:30,047 --> 00:08:33,572 it's like $100 or, like, a million or something. 201 00:08:33,659 --> 00:08:35,661 Kickass. 202 00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,620 What are you going to buy with your half? 203 00:08:37,707 --> 00:08:39,187 Half? 204 00:08:39,274 --> 00:08:41,711 Boner-saurus was my idea, Beavis. 205 00:08:41,798 --> 00:08:43,452 No way. 206 00:08:43,539 --> 00:08:46,368 It was my idea, and I built most of it! 207 00:08:46,455 --> 00:08:48,935 Well, I stuck on the boner. [chuckles] 208 00:08:49,022 --> 00:08:50,894 And that's what everybody's here to see. 209 00:08:50,981 --> 00:08:52,113 Damn it, Butt-Head. 210 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,592 Now, I'm going to take the boner... 211 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,333 - No, you're not. - And build my own Bonersaurus! 212 00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:57,292 And mine is going to be all boners 213 00:08:57,379 --> 00:08:59,903 with none of that dumb stuff like arms! Yeah. 214 00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:01,513 Beavis, if you touch my boner, 215 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,950 I swear to God I'm going-- - This boner is mine! 216 00:09:06,039 --> 00:09:08,216 Beavis, get your damn hands off my boner. 217 00:09:08,303 --> 00:09:09,826 [fist impacting] - Make me! 218 00:09:09,913 --> 00:09:11,654 [both grunting] 219 00:09:19,836 --> 00:09:21,098 [chuckles] 220 00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:24,319 [wind blows softly] 221 00:09:27,365 --> 00:09:30,542 I guess the museum's closed, Butt-Head. 222 00:09:30,629 --> 00:09:34,024 The age of the mighty Bonersaurus is over. 223 00:09:34,111 --> 00:09:36,679 Perhaps in a hundred years, people will find these bones 224 00:09:36,766 --> 00:09:40,204 and say, "Once long ago, there was a dinosaur 225 00:09:40,291 --> 00:09:43,033 that had a boner or something." 226 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,078 I don't know. [chuckles] 227 00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:47,951 This is stupid. [chuckles] 228 00:09:48,038 --> 00:09:51,433 Why did we even do this? 229 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,610 Makes you think. [chuckles] It really makes you think. 230 00:09:54,697 --> 00:09:55,611 [both chuckling] 231 00:09:55,698 --> 00:09:57,308 [dog growling] 232 00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:26,729 Chirp.